Character Assassination - Part One

A great illustration by Astrid Haupt, one of The Unknown Artist team.

Welcome. If that should be 'Welcome back,' you've read my first-ever post in my first-ever blog, and you'll know that I have an idea for a book about a scary cat. I've got the story and written the words and have some quite strong ideas about the pictures. But I can't draw or design, so I'm looking for someone to do all the really hard work for me.

That's a pretty back-handed way of asking you if you'd be interested in getting onboard and trying to help me complete the book.

Over the next few weeks I'll be posting my ideas, and at the end of the whole sorry process, anyone still awake should have a strong idea of what I'm trying to achieve - a children's book with a twist of horror.

As its title suggests, in this post I'm going to be taking a look at the one of the main characters in the story. There are three of them.

The Fighty Bitey Cat (FBC) itself - I've never considered its gender, and it really doesn't seem too important - although I'm prepared to be corrected on this. Second , there's Trevor, a young, previously sunny-natured and almost defenceless boy (modeled a little on some memories I have of my younger brother from about 35 years ago - sorry, bro'), and Aunty Sal, who shares a name and little else with my wife (sorry, darling). But let's start off with the star of the show.

The FBC

Malicious, scheming and wicked - and that's only its good side - The FBC is a biting, scratching, ripping and thoroughly malevolent force of nature. It's also a terrible bully, as it spends most of the book making life a misery for Trevor. Like many real life cats the FBC incredible agility, speed and strength. Unlike most cats I've known it also appears to be highly intelligent. It also takes real and obvious delight in causing the emotional and physical damage it does.

Getting it to look right on the page is one hell of a task. The sketch at the top of this post was done by my friend Astrid Haupt, which although it shows the FBC at giant size (the FCB is life size in 'reality') it really gives an idea of menace, I think, whilst being quite funny, too. Maybe you agree.

Obviously, the web is full of frightening, sinister looking moggies, and here's a selection of some of my favourites, which convey the right sort of evil personality.

But why limit ourselves to real cats - or cats at all? There's a whole world of creatures out there that combine frightening and feline. Some have the right look and feel for the Fighty Bitey cat, whilst others illustrate some of its behavior.

Let's take a look.

First up we have the Alien from the movie franchise of the same name. Like The Terminator, the Alien is ruthless and utterly unstoppable. Well, until Ellen Ripley blasts its out into space, nukes it from orbit, blasts it into space again, chucks it into a furnace, etc, etc.

Give us a hug! The rampaging 'raptor from Jurassic Park was smart and scary. It's only short-coming is it didn't get Sam Neil, who managed to disguise himself as an inert piece of wood throughout much of the movie - and his subsequent career.

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Undead, undead, undead - probably the greatest vampire of them all - it's Max Schrek as Nosferatu - or was it Nosferatu as Max Schrek? Anyone who's seen Shadow Of The Vampire will get what I'm on about.

We could add Batman to the list, but I'm a coward when it comes to crossing DC Comics' lawyers - probably more scary of all the creatures pictured above. Well, time's flown by like a pteradactyl in a flesh frenzy, so its time to close. Next post - more characters. Thanks for reading!

"FB"

Just Another Blog About Cats... And Horror

It seemed like a good idea at the time - write a children's book with a twist. Put in some cunning nods to the horror genre which were funny and exciting enough to grab the kid's attention, and clever enough to hold the adult's. 

The Fighty Bitey Cat was the result. Based on my own cat's more extreme behaviour, and referencing films such as Psycho, Alien and Nosferatu, it is intended as a fun romp for old and young alike. It has a jokey written style and as few words as I felt I could get away with. Just one problem - I can't draw. (And yes, here's your opportunity to comment that I should work on the drawing, as I'm even worse as a writer.)   

So I looked around for an artist, and was overjoyed when my friends Astrid & Oliver Haupt (aka The Unknown Artist) did some sample pictures. Unfortunately they didn't have time to follow up on their initial ideas as they actually have to do that sort of thing for a living. Next I hooked up with Alex, a designer who was working as a cook in my local (and favourite) bar here in Barcelona. Same story there.

That was at least two years ago, and I've been meaning to put ideas for the book online since then. Over the next few week I'll be uploading my sketches, words and assorted images to try and give an idea of what I want to achieve.

So if you or anyone you know would like to get involved as an artist, designer, typesetter or whatever, please get in touch. I want to get the book finished - at least in electronic form. And who knows, maybe it could even get published.

There you have it. It's not much of a sales pitch, but I've never really been interested in doing this for commercial reasons. I write copy  - amongst other things - for a living, so this is my love project. I hope someone out there will learn to love it too.

Thanks for reading 

"FB"